A series of events got me thinking about the idea of true friendship. I wondered if it is possible to find a friend that really personifies the word. Seeing as we are humans, it is expected that we have fall outs and as soon as possible, reconcile and get back to loving each other. However, after knowing someone for a while, it seems natural that you would know the likes and dislikes of the person. And being a friend, you will do more of the likes and reduce the dislikes.
Guess why? Because friendship is sacrifice. So if you have a friend who’s an introvert and you’re sanguine, then you know that sometimes you’ll go out alone and let them read a book indoors because that’s what they love to do,and on some other occasions, you go together to each person’s activities, again because friendship is sacrifice.
It isn’t getting upset because a melancholic friend wants to do poetry when you want to go clubbing, or trying to change a person. That is disrespectful, in my opinion, as they’re probably not forcing you to critique Robert Frost. Each person is different from the other and has their unique gifts that make them stand out. Just in case anyone tells you you’re weird or awkward or silly, just to put you down, tell them you’re special. Prov. 18:16 says that a man’s gift makes room for him. No matter what you can do, someone out there is looking for it and if they are sure you can do it well, they will be willing to pay, so don’t be afraid to be different from others-its a bonus!
Back to the concept of friendship, its important not to let familiarity get the best of you in your relationships. It makes you take people for granted and that is unhealthy and a recipe for misunderstandings. When you get so accustomed to a person, you tend to say things or behave in ways that you wouldn’t to a new friend. A way to prevent this is to think through discussions and apologise if you feel that you’ve said something hurtful. She might have forgotten about it or brushed it off, but your apology tells her that you care and are not too ‘friendly’ to admit a mistake when you make it, even a little one. And that adds to the deposit in your ‘friendship bank’. The next time you slip up without realising, you’ll have something to fall back on i.e. your friend can easily assume you didn’t realise it since you came clean the last time.
It might be a myth or maybe not, but sometimes, even when there are a lot of people around, its hard to find a friend: someone who truly gets you, can read your expressions and moods and not misread your words on Whatsapp (please just call if its serious. Whatsapp sometimes could make matters worse…) If it lies within your power to, show yourself friendly to someone. Make excuses for their naughtiness: maybe its the monthly, or they’re having a bad day. It will be far from easy, but the Holy Spirit is our helper and can guide us on how to best to show love.
It will hurt on some days and you may not feel like it. It helps me to remind myself that God probably didn’t feel like dying on the cross for me, but He did it still. You may argue He had no choice, but that’s exactly the point. If He could do something so great for me, showing some love to a friend shouldn’t be too much for me to do.
Have a good week! *MBW
“Don’t ask whether it’s going to be easy. Ask whether it’s going to be worth it.”-Michael Josephson